Sunday, 16 October 2011

Spousal Hair Support

The subject heading sounds like a court order I know, but there is no other way to say it. I need to be truthful, I am receiving voluntary Spousal Hair Support.

The fact of the matter is when I first told my husband that I was going natural, he was unsure about my decision and was against me cutting my straight shoulder length hair off. So part of my reason of transitioning was not only for me to get to know my hair, but also to let him have the opportunity to see it's truth potential. With that said he, knew what I was about to do was not going to be easy for either of us and he supported me anyway, because he loves all of me not just my hair.

He seen the love I was developing for my curls and the special time I would give them, especially when it came down to detangling my transitioning tress, roller setting and sitting under the hood dryer every weekend or during the week. It became my other job, but I was dedicated.He also noticed how much healthier my hair and scalp was and that was important to him as well.

Soon enough he began to feel the love for my curls too. When I finally cut my hair it was a shock to the entire household, they didn't know what to expect. Yet, when I walked through the door he was there and he gave me a kiss, saying "it looks cute." That made me happy.

As the days turned into months, he loves it even more and so do I. He is even at the point where he does not find straight hair on black women attractive anymore. This makes me smile inside. He is now totally converted.

What has your experience been like with your husband or significant other? Do you have any tips for other Canadian Curlies out there?

Blessings and Curls,


  1. Awesome post! My now-husband had a hard time with my transition...he had known me for years with long, straight hair, and wasn't sure about the change. I'd get upset and at times I felt he didn't find me attractive...but it just took some time for both of us.

    One thing I had to remember was that he wasn't used to natural hair on ANY Black woman. All the women in his family relaxed...all his friends and past girlfriends did I had to keep that in mind, and we had to be sensitive to each others' feelings. But NOW? He LOVES the curls, and has gotten so much more educated on caring for natural hair :)

  2. Thanks it was fun to write. I feel you Bee... In many ways it was a transition for him too. It made me feel so good that he tried to keep and open mind, especially when he knew this wasn't a phase for me. I'm blessed to have him.

  3. I've been mostly natural for years. Well, more natural than relaxed :) When I first 'went natural' in '91, I didn't notice any commentary from guys, but actually a lot from black women. It was a lot less common then, and they had SO many questions! Most of the guys I've dated up to now, met me as a natural {or 'texturised}, but not completely 'bone' straight and had never made negative comments on my hair. As an aside, one of my ex's, who happened to be white, met me with braided extensions and really disliked them and much prefers my natural hair.

  4. Thanks for commenting on my blog, which brought me to your blog. I absolutely loved this story. Although my husband loved my many hairstyles...when I grew long and even when I cut it short, he likes my natural hair the best. He didn't have a problem when I told him I was going natural, but I know other husbands who weren't so happy when their wives went natural which is too bad. I'm sure there are many different reasons for would be nice to hear from the men.

  5. Anytime NaturalE Fab! Every man is different, at the end of the day it's important that he supports you and your decision. Otherwise, he may not be worth it ... just my feelings on the topic.